tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9158356678544299344.post-45983032766231790612008-03-16T11:40:00.001-04:002008-03-16T11:40:57.503-04:001. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.<br />'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'<br /><br />2. My mother taught me RELIGION.<br />'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'<br /><br />3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.<br />'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'<br /><br />4. My mother taught me LOGIC.<br />' Because I said so, that's why.'<br /><br />5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.<br />'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'<br /><br />6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.<br />'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'<br /><br />7. My mother taught me IRONY.<br />'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'<br /><br />8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.<br />'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'<br /><br />9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.<br />'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'<br /><br />10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.<br />'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'<br /><br />11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.<br />'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'<br /><br />12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.<br />'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'<br /><br />13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.<br />'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'<br /><br />14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.<br />'Stop acting like your father!'<br /><br />15. My mother taught me about ENVY.<br />'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'<br /><br />16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.<br />'Just wait until we get home.'<br /><br />17 My mother taught me about RECEIVING.<br />'You are going to get it when you get home!'<br /><br />18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.<br />'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'<br /><br />19 My mother taught me ESP.<br />'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'<br /><br />20. My mother taught me HUMOR.<br />'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'<br /><br />21.My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.<br />'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'<br /><br />22. My mother taught me GENETICS.<br />'You're just like your father.'<br /><br />23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.<br />'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'<br /><br />24. My mother taught me WISDOM.<br />'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'<br /><br />25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.<br />'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!'Queeniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11201397019292285068noreply@blogger.com